Ode to Rat

dear big black rat in my kitchen, i know we've had our differences. but i already fed you, sang songs to you, and we even ran around the house a couple of times. but my heart has grown weary now. and i think yours too, since i just saw you trying to squeeze yourself out of my house, and my life, in a little corner beside the cabinet. but we both know you won't fit. i'm not saying you're fat. i'm just saying that i already mustered enough courage to open the door to your freedom and finally let you go. so go now, turn your hairy back towards me, and leave. i have learned to forgive you and, in the process, forgive myself for letting "us" go. you will always occupy a special place in my heart. and an irrational and blind hatred from my sister. she never approved of us to begin with.

Copyright Infringement

The words in this blog - the essays and stories - are the creations of my mind. Under existing laws on intellectual property, my rights over them are protected from the moment of their creation. 

If you wish to use my creations for any reason other than private consumption, please email me and ask for permission. If this is too cumbersome for you, please make the necessary attributions. 

Plagiarism is not only illegal. It is pathetic. Passing off someone else's work as your own is definitely not sexy. We all have gifts given by the universe. Find yours and don't make it appear that you are similarly gifted.

Who knows, maybe you will shine most using your own words. 

Happy writing. 

- Miguel Rafael 

Till I met you

I begin with kindness. Or at least something that resembles kindness.

I then go to gentleness. Or at least how one perceives it. A peck on the cheek, a soft touch, or a lingering look.

And then I end with forgiveness.

For 2014, I agree with Ms. Odette Quesada. For all intents and purposes, dreaming is no longer a childish thing. And love is not a game that children play.

Still alive

It's almost a year since I last wrote anything in my blog.

In a nutshell, I went through my first year of law school (which is utter hell saved only by the drinking sessions with my classmates), fell in love (we're going to celebrate our first anniversary tomorrow), got arrested (actually I voluntarily surrendered), took a leave-of-absence from law school to finish my masters degree (which is 8 years in the making), and trying to juggle two jobs in order to have enough money to fix my delapidated pick up and buy for myself the latest iMac.

I have so many ideas running in my head but that hellhole known as law school clipped my wings for a whole year.

But now I'm free.

So this is love

The entire month of October passed by without an article or two. I'm still floating, from law school, all the cases and codals, and from my work at the office.

It's a good thing my munchkin is with me. He anchors me.

I don't have to go crazy over everything. He uncomplicates me.

I don't have to be anxious about the future. He stills my restless soul.

So this is how it feels like. Just like what Jodie Foster said in the movie "Contact", "I had no idea. It's so beautiful".

Dear Yvette

It finally happened. I've let go of the things I'm afraid of and made myself vulnerable to another person. It took some time before I decided to enter this state. I over analyzed it, problematized, theorized and nuanced every possible argument. My Ego fought with all its might, not wanting to be subjugated by this overwhelming feeling. A lifetime of letting my Ego rule my heart and look where it brought me.

But now, it's different. It is the most unbelievable feeling, the adrenaline rush of jumping off a cliff, knowing that someone's going to catch you.

It finally happened, Yvette. I'm in love.

Two weeks to go

My fingers are itching to upload my articles and stories gestating in my mind since June. Law school can really stifle the creativity of a person. After October 16, I will be posting my articles and stories regularly.

Truth

Are we condemned to feel inadequate when we hear the good fortune of a gay friend who is deeply involved in a loving a nurturing relationship? Is it inevitable that we feel envious that a guy, someone we don't even know, has a boyfriend and that they are eternally committed to each other. Is the capacity of other gay men to fall in love and stay in love a yardstick with which some of us measure our own capacity to love? If so, are we that insecure?

Does the heart know immediately when it is in love? Is there an overwhelming tide of emotion that washes over ever fiber of a person's being? Is there a gentle tug at his heart or a soft whisper of affirmation? Or does the heart concede to what is convenient and settle for what is stable?

Envy, the green eyed monster that makes you wish you ordered what the guy at the other table has.

I've been here before.

No history, no identity.

White and Orange Roses

I just received 24 white and orange roses from my munchkin. It came with a card and a piece of paper with his poems. I already got the hint that he was up to something when he kept asking if I'm going to leave the office today. He told me that I should just stay. I told him that he shouldn't bother himself and that it was enough for me to see him and be with him, no need for anything else.

Then the roses came.

It came in a huge yellow box. And the guy who delivered the roses was smiling. I guess it was his first time to deliver flowers to a guy instead of a girl. I can't keep myself from smiling and giggling, just like a girl. And all of my officemates commented on how beautiful the roses are and asked who sent them.

"From my munchkin", i said.