Truth

Are we condemned to feel inadequate when we hear the good fortune of a gay friend who is deeply involved in a loving a nurturing relationship? Is it inevitable that we feel envious that a guy, someone we don't even know, has a boyfriend and that they are eternally committed to each other. Is the capacity of other gay men to fall in love and stay in love a yardstick with which some of us measure our own capacity to love? If so, are we that insecure?

Does the heart know immediately when it is in love? Is there an overwhelming tide of emotion that washes over ever fiber of a person's being? Is there a gentle tug at his heart or a soft whisper of affirmation? Or does the heart concede to what is convenient and settle for what is stable?

Envy, the green eyed monster that makes you wish you ordered what the guy at the other table has.

I've been here before.

No history, no identity.

White and Orange Roses

I just received 24 white and orange roses from my munchkin. It came with a card and a piece of paper with his poems. I already got the hint that he was up to something when he kept asking if I'm going to leave the office today. He told me that I should just stay. I told him that he shouldn't bother himself and that it was enough for me to see him and be with him, no need for anything else.

Then the roses came.

It came in a huge yellow box. And the guy who delivered the roses was smiling. I guess it was his first time to deliver flowers to a guy instead of a girl. I can't keep myself from smiling and giggling, just like a girl. And all of my officemates commented on how beautiful the roses are and asked who sent them.

"From my munchkin", i said.